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July 12, 2020

Have you ever heard the saying “how do you show up?” This generally applies to our attitudes when we go to work, try something new, or starting our day. The same thing can be asked when our law enforcement spouse comes home from work. How do we greet the ones we love when they walk in the door? Sometimes when our partners come home, the first sentence out of their mouth is “Oh boy I am tired”. Our initial response is to say “You’re tired? I woke up 3 kids, got them dressed, made breakfast and lunche...

May 7, 2020

Being a Police Officer is not merely my husband’s career, it carries so much more weight than that; it is part of the identity of our entire family, as we share in the commitment and sacrifice. Yet at the same time, it is his career.  We are the behind the scenes first responders for our officers, we are family. What happens on the job happens to him; we are not necessarily directly affected by those events (both good and bad), but as a family, we feel the effects deeply, overwhelming pride and fear...

December 31, 2019

The importance of having support from the beginning

I grew up in a police family where my father had undiagnosed PTSD for many years. I watched my mom try to navigate through the years with no support, or tools to know how t

o handle being married and parent with a man who had experienced trauma she couldn’t begin to understand. It wasn’t until after their divorce and years after leaving policing my father began to get the help needed. When my husband decided he wanted to pursue policing I knew I did...

September 2, 2019

A Code 900 in the career of your officer will change the very fabric of their being, your being and the shape and trajectory of your lives as a couple and family. From a spouse’s perspective it forces you to see the reality that can be policing today and makes you confront the impermanence of life and the vulnerability that exists underneath the uniform. Two within six months of each other will test the very material you are constructed from. Sadly, that became our reality in 2013. My husband had on...

Police spouses all around support their partners in so many ways. Running all aspects of a home and family life while either working full-time or staying home with your children is a lot of work for one person to manage the majority of. Often times these behind the scenes actions go unnoticed.

As a police spouse, you understand that your partner’s career comes with long days and nights, missed holidays and yet an incredible amount of respect and pride. It can be hard to survive the late night shifts,...

June 7, 2019

“We don’t have to do all of it alone.  We were never meant to.”  Brene Brown

Police families know what the thin blue line means.  It stands for the sacrifice law enforcement officers make each day on the job.  But we, as spouses/families are also a part of that thin blue line.  We make sacrifices every day and feel the heartaches and challenges that come when our officers are on duty.  Whether you are a brand new police family or a veteran police family of 15+ years, you know how challenging this car...

June 25, 2018

According to Officer.com, “[a] critical incident can be defined as any event that has a stressful impact sufficient enough to overwhelm the usually effective coping skills of an individual.” These can range from a call involving a young child to an officer-involved shooting. Either way they can have a huge effect on our officers and, in turn, us and our families.
Unfortunately, in our house we have experienced two critical incidents that forever changed the way our lives worked and how both my hus...

January 1, 2018

The morning of December 11, 2017 proved to be a special one for residents at Silvera for Seniors in Bridgeland when CPS Christian Spouses: Called to Serve and Support, attended with their children and CPS Member spouses to spread some Christmas cheer. The group arrived with cookies and ornaments which they decorated with the residents of Silvera that wished to participate in the festivities. For those residents who were happier to watch the excitement unfold, the children lovingly delivered their co...

November 28, 2017

Christmas time is my absolute favorite time of year. The lights, the music, the tree, and family, family, family. Before becoming a police spouse I never had to worry about what Christmas would look like, every year looked the same as the last. Now, I definitely cannot say the same thing. Some years we are lucky, and my husband doesn’t work at all the 24th or 25th of December, other years we barely see him and must carve out time in between shifts and sleeping.

I know the question has been raised bef...

October 26, 2017

I would hazard a guess that most police spouses can relate to the sarcasm that becomes a safety net in daily communication, at the very least it certainly is in our house. That, of course, can come with its own set of challenges; the biggest one being that children have a hard time deciphering sarcasm and if the sarcastic parent isn’t careful with what they say it can lead to miscommunication and tears (on the child’s part). I came across this article by Victoria Newman and immediately felt like sh...

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