I never imagined marrying a cop would be so lonely. I married my husband for who he is outside of his uniform, but if I thought about his job it brought up feelings of trust, safety, security, & belonging; all of these are qualities I was looking for in a spouse, so I thought I'd met a real winner. And I did. My husband is loving, a great husband, a wonderful father, loyal, kind, generous...I could go on!
But what I didn't expect was the loneliness. Before we had children, I didn't mind all the hours he worked. I busied myself with friends and family. It was after we had kids that I felt overwhelmingly lonely when he worked. The 14+ hour days alone with the kids feels difficult, even though our children are very well behaved. It's the lack of adult-time, no it's more than that (I see plenty of adult friends with my kids). It's the lone parenting for 14 hours a day that feels tough. But that doesn't compare to the nights he works.
Getting the kids fed, bathed, and all ready for bed alone is a lot of work without support, and after they've gone to bed, the silent house feels even more lonesome. Going to bed alone isn't any fun either. I always assumed being married meant never having to go to bed alone. But it doesn't mean that - I married a cop after all.
Despite my loneliness, I wouldn't change my husband or what he does.
I wanted to write this short blog because after I reached out to other cop's wives. I realized this loneliness plagues many of them too. To all the lonely wives out there - you're not alone.
All we can do it support each other and our spouses!